Monday, 13 February 2017

Sadly inevitable, and inevitably sad...

It seems my relationship with the Engineer has come to an end.  Despite agreeing he would pass by a week or two back, I didn't hear from him.  We had agreed some while ago (I thought), that as I was relatively free, he would let me know when his work/family/study timetable permitted us to get together, and I would wait for him to hit me up whenever he could.  It seems he had a different perception, and was waiting for me to invite him over.

After two weeks silence, and repeatedly seeing him on my grid as being just half a mile away, I dropped him a message and asked if I'd upset him.  "Yes" was his single word response, so I quickly replied, telling him of my sorrow at this and my version of our understanding (that I'd wait etc.), but I received nothing for 24 hours, at which point I got a torrent of abuse.  He feels I've "ignored and betrayed" him, preferring to "meet with others".  He lives quite close to the Syrian, and when I was there recently he saw me online, thus assuming I'm "dating others now".  Hoo boy.  I apologize again, but have received nothing from him for a week.

Initially I was kind of outraged that he a) had been stalking me, and b) demanded a justification of my behavior, but that's softened into a kind of sadness that hopes this jealousy is a form of perhaps his feelings for me?

I really don't know how to make this right, or even if I will.  I've been unofficially informed my tour in this godforsaken country will come to an end quite soon, and am merely waiting for the formalities.  Thus, after almost 7 years here, and 5 years of fun and, dammit, affection, it's unlikely I'll ever see him again.  To whisper 'sweet nothings' to sort this situation out, then to end it just a matter of weeks later doesn't feel right.

But he's clearly hurt, and I'm kinda sad about that...



  1. I hate situations like that where misunderstanding are involved. Maybe you should send a good-bye note letting him know you'll we be moving on? Where do you go from here?

    1. I think that's what I'll probably do, just for both of us to have some closure. Next post is uncertain - still in the sandlands though...