Thursday, 5 November 2015

If I didn't laugh, I'd cry... (part 1)

Oh fuck - what a week....  Some Saudi guy hits me up a few days back, not terribly tall, a little chunky, but friendly and personable enough.  I'm no Adonis myself, so I'm generally pretty open to varying body types - we all just want to get laid right?

After some to and fro, we agree to meet on Tuesday, so I arrive at his hotel at the appointed time.  He's not about, so I retire to the terrace for a coffee and a cigarette.  Suddenly he appears, in what seems to be his pyjamas, and he pulls up a stool opposite me.  With clear dismay he looks at my cigarettes, which I find annoying - bad enough I already know what a vile habit it is, I am also super clear in my profile that I do indulge, so caveat emptor in my view.  After some pleasantries, he offers to show me his room, and off we go.  He walks in and immediately picks up the phone to call housekeeping for a toothbrush and extra towels, then hands me mouthwash and gum.  We chat, but he won't come near me.  Riiiight.  Delivery arrives, and I am sent to the bathroom to clean up, after which he tells me I'm "ok - kinda".  I'd exited the bathroom with a towel around my waist , and he does smile - "like a sauna" he says, telling me he'd visited a few in Paris last month.  I too am familiar with the Parisian bathhouses, but it seems we move in different circles as I know none of his and he none of mine.  Anyway, he soon gets over his hesitation, and we roll around and make out for a bit, me naked after the shower and him in his boxers.  I can feel his chubby hardon through the fabric, and after some more kissing I finally get them off him.  He won't touch my dick, but he's keen to be sucked, and then he just wants to run his hands over my body, commenting on the softness of my skin (I get a lot of that) as we kiss, then he climbs off the bed and suits up.  I'm flipped to my stomach, and he draws my ass into the air, then begins to tentatively slide his cock around, never quite connecting with my hole, then he says "oh shit" and climbs down.  As I look up, he shrugs and points to his fully loaded condom.  "I was too excited" he says, going to the bathroom and cleaning himself up.  When he returns, I get the 'we're done' vibe and suggest he might like to rest now.  "Yes please".  So I dress and leave.

I exit the elevator, and I am accosted by another Saudi, this one in full dishdash.  He's quite tall, maybe 30, with a great smile and seems to be built like a greek god.  But the outfit can be deceiving.  I know guys who look awesome in their 'kit', but are in fact more like potatoes underneath, and vice versa - as with so much in life, it's all about the tailoring.

He asks for a light, then engages me in chat.  My hometown is his 'favourite place', and would I like to come upstairs for some tea.  I haven't shot, and he's cute, so yeah.  Up we go and, hilariously, he's in the room directly above guy #1.  We sit and talk, then he coyly admits he likes to give massage, and would I like?  Sure.  I'm instructed to remove my shirt, then my shorts, then he holds out a towel so I can remove my briefs in modesty (???), and he directs me to the bed.  Then he peels off his own shirt and yep, the god-thing is definitely going on.  His physique is, frankly, amazing.  Broad hairy chest, fantastic shoulders and arms, a tiny waist and trunk like legs.  He climbs astride me and gives my shoulders a cursory rub before whispering in my ear "you want sex"?  Of course I bloody do, and he reaches down to work my ass, as well as my cock and balls from behind.  Things heat up from here, and we're going hard at it, sucking and rimming each other, my hard cock sliding around in his incredibly hairy crack, getting a damn nice feel, and after I go down to lick and suck his hole some more, he flips onto his back and pushes my head down to his dripping cock.  He wants me to snowball his pre-cum back to him, so I happily oblige, passing that and a fair amount of saliva between us time and again.  My own dick is achingly hard, but we have no condoms, so fucking is out, until he leaps off the bed and begins to dress.  I'm somewhat taken aback by this, but he says as he runs out of the room 'the gloves are in my car', and I'm left to watch local TV until he returns.  I notice at this point there is no luggage in the room, which is kinda odd, but he's left his glasses, ipad & a very expensive watch on the desk, so who knows.  He soon returns, and begs me to rim him some more, and we do this plus some more spit exchange.  He won't rim me again, but he does want to fuck - after straddling my chest and stroking himself for a while, he puts the condom on and flips me over, his muscular body atop mine as he shuffles and wriggles about trying to enter me.  But it ain't happening...

He rolls off me, and points to a deflated cock.  "Not tonight habibi" he shrugs as he lights a cigarette.  "I come back in 2 weeks - I fuck you then and you fuck me."  I offer to fuck him now, but he says his ass is too sore from last night, when his Pathan mate passed by.  For those who are unfamiliar, the Pathan are an Afghani hill tribe, known for their height, their aggression and their monstrous cocks.  I mention this, and he nods "23cm - I can only take half of it".  He snuggles down beside me, and reaches for his ipad - he wants to watch straight porn while we make out, but after 2 strikeouts I'm done and I just want to leave.  So I do...


  1. Wow. That's pretty bold for that area no? Accosting a stranger off app in hopes of sex? Perhaps he gets a free pass most of the time by his god like looks

  2. Not as ballsy an approach as you might think. As a foreigner, I'm clearly not a member of the security forces hiding behind a fake profile, and we did stand and chat for a bit, with a lot of eye contact. And it was incremental - he didn't say 'come and fuck', he said 'come for tea', leaving us both some wiggle room, and it went from there...