Monday, 2 February 2015

None for two - part 1

A last minute change of plans sees me with a free week, so I jump a plane and head to London.  It's freezing, but Grindr tells me there are literally dozens of guys within 500m of me.  Sure enough, I get hit up by a guy, and he sends some pretty fit pics and wants to meet me for a coffee before anything 'else' happens.

Just before we are to meet, I ask him for a face pic.  He sends one of a much older guy than I was expecting, holding a glass of wine.  I'm pretty pissed about this, but the meat meet is a block and 5 minutes away so I go anyway.

Despite the unflattering face pic, he's actually got a sensational body - given the vino we go to the pub rather than a coffee shop, and the charm offensive begins.  The guy is buying me drinks, then he suggests dinner, even going so far as to accompany me to the street to continue chatting while I smoke.

We eat dinner, then he suggests he wants to take me to 'his favourite bar', and I figure why not.  So a short bus ride (?!?!) and we get to what's colloquially known as 'the elephants graveyard'.  Now this could apply to either the age of the patrons or the morbid obesity of many of them.  It turns out my 'date' is well known there, and I am (insultingly) referred to as 'the new girlfriend', by a particularly nasty old guy, along with a few other barbs.  I tolerate this for a while, then decide I want another cigarette.  When I return, my mate tells me we're leaving, which I happily do.  We taxi back to the original pub, then decide to move back to my room.

Now here's the rub - we get inside, he strips off and jumps into my bed.  He's fit, with a fat 7" flopping around between his legs and tatts that match the earlier pics, so I climb in beside him, and begin to work his nipples and move down to suck his cock.

As I am sucking him, he begins to moan and squirm about, then pats my head and announces he's tired and maybe we should do this another time.  He then gets out of bed, dresses and leaves.

WTF?

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