Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Letting go...

I read an insightful post http://mrsteed64.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-reports-of-my-death-are-greatly.html, on the ability of those with whom we only have a passing interaction to hurt us.  He included fuckbuddies and readers of his own blog in particular.  Those who inexplicably and rudely end casual relationships , or the ‘haters’ who eagerly devour his output, demanding “more” yet repeatedly criticizing what he writes. 

I found his comments to be of particular resonance.  This blog has been clear from the outset that it was an avenue for me to disclose and recount, without prejudice, my experiences in the shadowy world of homosexual relations and casual encounters in an environment where such things are actively disapproved.   I have also attempted to be objective, to the extent I often cast myself in a poor light.  However in my brief time as a blogger, I have experienced much the same as my fellow author.  People with whom one has a clear NSA relationship, yet who feel the need to disaffect or dismiss, often spitefully.  this is perhaps as a self defense mechanism, yet it still leaves one feeling somewhat confused, and dammit, on occasion, hurt.  Those also who send messages of an intensely personal and vindictive nature as a response to a particular post.  These comments are never morality based, rather the semi-abusive ravings of seemingly troubled minds.  Although sometimes I receive a 'like', and, on occasion, a nice SMS.  My only possible response to the haters can be to suggest finding another site to read, but again, it is occasionally hurtful.

I read also recently a post regarding the baggage we carry as a result of this lifestyle, and the constant hope many seem to have of finding ‘the one’ through such unlikely avenues as buddy finder apps or specific pages within social networking sites.  If anyone thinks that is going to be the place, as opposed to reality, they are truly destined for a lonely life.

As a result of this, I undertook an interesting exercise this morning.  Scrolling through my contacts, I noted many names belonging to those I have met along the way, and who have passed ‘the test’.  By this I simply mean they were fun, discreet and unconnected to me professionally.  A very small subset of people you meet online I can assure you.  Many harked back to encounters long since passed, and I see their names with a wistful smile.  However, in general, it seems these are not to be repeated, notwithstanding interest from my side.

So I deleted the lot.  A surprisingly liberating experience and highly recommended.

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