Saturday, 23 February 2013

some thoughts on buddy finders and other social media

In this part of the world, being gay is not only considered to be immoral, it's downright illegal.  The lash & jail (for nationals) and the lash & deportation for foreigners.   Entrapment is also considered fair and is admissible in court.  This makes buddy finder sites a great way to find 'like-minded' folk.   You'd think....

Owing to the perceived stigma, 95% of profiles only show the chest/torso of participants.  That plus the usual untruths about age, type and body means that without the visual cue of an actual face you're flying blind.  I can't tell you how stupid some of these people are - the pic of a famous movie star "is really them", or the insanely fit and wrinkle free young body attached to a 50y.o. profile.  And then there are the timewasters...

I swear, the timewasters.  A day flirting, sending pics and outlining what they want to do.  20 minutes before the appointed time "wallah habibi I'm unwell", or "oh no my wife has returned from her overseas trip early".  And then the ones who seem to think their privileged position in real life extends online.  In the real world it is called arrogance, but these guys just don't get that.  They're 'national', so they're special.  End of.  Likewise the 'macho men' who turn out to be either whimpering bottoms or only into soft sex.  FFS - it's called "grindr", not "cuddlr"!

Then there are the guys I almost feel sorry for. Interaction between the sexes is limited here, and there are an awful lot of horny young men.  It's (apparently) acceptable to be a top until one gets married, at which point you become monogamous.  So endless, endless profiles of well-built 23-28y.o. guys with 'top here' or 'looking for shemale only' on their screenshot.  One must also be able 'to host'.  But for some reason they hit me up, and are all pissed off when I'm not who they're looking for.  Read the profile guys!

The lack of face means you're not certain if it's a friend, a colleague or perhaps the police on the other end as well.  Regular readers will know that one of my staff sent me dick and face pics recently.  So we all play "20 questions", gradually getting more personal until a conclusion can be determined as to whether or not we are already acquainted before disclosing actual identities.

Frankly, it's exhausting.  After a period involving all of the above behaviours, amongst a revolving cast of nationals, I suspect I shall be deleting my profile shortly.  And breathing a lot more easily...

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